Running From My Shadow

"Running From My Shadow"
Song by Mike Shinoda
from the album Post Traumatic
Recorded:	2017-2018
Released:	May 24, 2018
Length:	3:24
Time signature:	4/4
Tempo:	122
Writer:	Mike Shinoda, Brad Delson, Jordan Benjamin, Ross Golan, Kevin Hissink
Producer:	Mike Shinoda, Boonn
Label:	Warner Bros. Records
Post Traumatic tracklist
Place To Start Over Again Watching As I Fall Nothing Makes Sense Anymore About You (feat. Blackbear) Brooding Promises I Can't Keep Crossing A Line Hold It Together Ghosts Make It Up As I Go (feat. K.Flay) Lift Off (feat. Chino Moreno & Machine Gun Kelly) I.O.U Running From My Shadow (feat. grandson) World's On Fire Can't Hear You Now

"Running From My Shadow" is the fourteenth song off of Mike Shinoda's debut solo album, Post Traumatic. It features guest vocals from grandson.

Background

Brad Delson has a writing credit on "Running From My Shadow" but Mike revealed in October 2020, over two and a half years after the album came out, that it was actually a leftover seed from the One More Light album sessions. He said, "Yeah but we were starting to work on "Running From My Shadow" during One More Light. It was one of the demos that we screwed around with a little bit during One More Light that just sucked, it just wasn't a song. So that's why Brad has a writing credit on "Running From My Shadow" because we like, toyed around with it with Ross Golan and it didn't come together. So I was like, "Oh no, that's not a good song." So when I was making Post Traumatic, I had this beat and I sang "Running From My Shadow" over it and I was like, "Oh fuck, that is really a jam." And thematically, it felt like it was a part of the album. I loved the concept of "Running From My Shadow." And then I wrote the verses, and I wrote all the rest of it, and we had grandson in, and Kevin, and they did the bridge part. So that's a long way of saying, "That's a song.""

About "Running From My Shadow, Mike said, "grandson is probably the only vocalist who is a guest on my record that I didn't already know. I had just heard a couple of his songs and then followed him on Instagram. And then we just got to talking and eventually hung out and eventually I invited him over to work on the song. He's great, I think he's really part of a new wave of artists and is kind of like mixed... it's like people want to say "oh it's a rock genre or alternative", it leans into that but a lot of stuff I like is hip hop and his stuff has a lot of hip hop in it." Mike added, "His friend Boonn who does guitars for him, they write a lot together, the two of those guys came over and Boonn helped on that one."

Mike annotated a significant amount of "Running From My Shadow" on Genius. He said about the overall track, "Denial is a funny thing. When you're in denial, you don't realize it while it's happening. Maybe everyone else knows, maybe nobody. Maybe you figure it out later, maybe you never do. This song isn't about one particular moment of denial for me, it's a blur of a few things, going back many years. Sometimes writing a song helps to make me more aware of things that I actually think — the writing actually forces self-reflection, and the self-reflection leads to realizations."

About the end of the first verse, "It's an amazing feeling to be of service to someone else. And it's important to be aware of any point where you might be taken advantage of. They say "don't mistake kindness for weakness." It's also important to never let your kindness turn into weakness, that your generosity be used against you."

About the chorus, "I liked the idea that this chorus is taking about futility, about going in circles… and it does just that: it ends on the same words it starts with."

About the start of the second verse, "The interplay and balance between dark and light is represented by the yinyang symbol."

Versions

Note: Only the date of the very first release of each version is listed.

Title	Album	Length	Recorded	Released	Notes
Running From My Shadow	Running From My Shadow Post Traumatic	3:24	2017-2018	May 24, 2018	Features vocals by grandson
Running From My Shadow	Post Traumatic - Instrumentals	3:24	2017-2018		Official instrumental version.

Live

"Running From My Shadow" was debuted live at Mike's performance at Amoeba Records, with grandson's part played over the PA. In Shanghai, an extended outro was added to the song where Matt and Dan would play the final part of the song again to close out the show. The song became the de facto closing song for the set, with only a few performances of "A Place For My Head" taking the spot from the song. Mike has said the reason why he chose it to close the show is because it's one of his favorite songs on Post Traumatic. Linkin Park band mate Phoenix, grandson himself and Boonn have joined Mike for the song in different occasions, with Dave playing guitar the first time.

Variations

Last Updated: May 2, 2020

Type	Description	First Played	Last Played
Outro	Final 16 bars played twice	August 14, 2018	September 8, 2019

Live Guests

Last Updated: May 2, 2020

• Boonn
• grandson
• Phoenix

Personnel

• Written by Mike Shinoda, Brad Delson, Kevin Hissink, Ross Golan, and Jordan Benjamin
• Produced by Mike Shinoda and Boonn
• Mixed by Manny Marroquin
• Mastered by Michelle Macini

Lyrics

Album Version

Wanna know where I don’t go
When it goes from OK to a oh no
When it goes from hi five to a low blow
When it goes from all five to a solo
Lemme tell you what you don’t know
I been down / so low / I was
Looking for something but denying that I found it
There’s an elephant sitting in the room
And I can’t find another way to tiptoe around it
I been doing greater good for a long time
But I can’t find any other way to give now
I been putting myself on the sideline
And it’s been time so I’m saying can I live now
There are times when I kick myself
Say I’m not sick but I can’t get well
Say I got this while I chase my tail
As if they can’t tell

I'm running from my shadow
Running from my shadow but it’s still there chasing me down
I’ll never win the battle
Never win the battle and I should have known it by now
Just when I think I’ve found the end / ohhh
I’m going back around again / ohhh
Running from my shadow
Running from my shadow but it’s still there chasing me down

Light side’s got a dark side to it
Daytime flows into night like fluid
The yin and the yang with a curved line through it
And none of it’s illuminating why I do it
Maybe I didn’t want to chase what was not right
Maybe I didn’t want to face you were offsides
Thinking I was far away from a crossed line
But I was giving soft praise to a hard lie
There are things that you say and you don’t say
My tongue’s gotten real tired of me biting it
‘Cause I keep on following the wrong way
Time’s come and I can’t keep denying it
There are times when I kick myself
Say I’m not sick but I can’t get well
Say I got this while I chase my tail
As if they can’t tell

I'm running from my shadow
Running from my shadow but it’s still there chasing me down
I’ll never win the battle
Never win the battle and I should have known it by now
Just when I think I’ve found the end / ohhh
I’m going back around again / ohhh
Running from my shadow
Running from my shadow but it’s still there chasing me down

I love you but I know / I gotta let you go
Dancing with the devil cause she’s all I’ve ever known
Wanted to pretend / That this time was the end
Sorry but I guess I gotta let you down again
Again
Again
Running from my shadow now my shadow is my only friend

Running from my shadow
But it’s still there chasing me down
Running from my shadow
Running from my shadow cause it’s still there chasing me down

Gallery

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  Grandson, Mike Shinoda and Boon

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  Music video shoot