Pushing Me Away

"Pushing Me Away" is the twelveth and final track on the album Hybrid Theory. It's an emotional ballad, focusing primarily on its lyrics rather than its attitude.

Background

"Pushing Me Away", according to Mike Shinoda, was a song heavily influenced by Depeche Mode.

When asked about "Pushing Me Away" on his Twitch stream in July 2020, Mike said, "I don't remember how that song like came together in terms of pieces. I know that we made it in the studio while we were making the album. And we wanted another song in the vibe of Crawling and I think Don was pushing that and he was looking to see if we could beat Crawling. I mean that was a high bar. At that point we didn't know Crawling would be Crawling, it was just a song by Linkin Park that we had written, so it was like, "Can we do a song better than this one? Let's try it." And I think we started with the guitars and the sample beeping sounds. And I like the track, I think the track went really well. I think the place where it didn't reach Crawling status for me was in the lyrics and melody. Not that it's bad, it's a good song, but it wasn't like... when we did Crawling, it was like we were channeling something, you know? It was like the emotion was inherent in the process and the other one, I think we were thinking too hard. It was cool, it's a good song."

On March 24, 2020, Linkin Park (Mike, Dave, and Joe) reacted to the (previously unreleased) San Diego 2001 show stream on YouTube. Mike said, "I think without that song, we wouldn't have written "Numb." Like, we needed to beat that song. We need a song that's like that song, but better than that song." Joe added, "Let's call it, 'The Bridge to Numb.'"

When questioned if the lyrics were written about someone in particular, Mike said: "In general, when we write a song we write it from the inspiration of whatever emotion we're trying to capture and put it in a way that somebody else can take it and relate their own story to it. I definitely wanted to give somebody a starting point that was descriptive but not overwhelming."

Before performing the song in Wantagh, New York on August 15, 2007, Chester said, "How many people here have been in a relationship you just can't seem to get out? Whether is someone you love or a friend. I don't know, maybe you have an asshole dad who kicked your ass on his home or something. This song is for you."

Composition

Due to Phoenix being out of the band at this time (1999 to October 2000) to tour with The Snax, he did not record bass on any songs on the Hybrid Theory EP or Hybrid Theory. Brad Delson recorded the bass on "With You", "Points Of Authority", "Crawling", "Runaway", "By Myself", "In The End", and "Pushing Me Away".

Demo

The version of "Pushing Me Away" on the Hybrid Theory (Unmastered Studio Finals 5/7/00) CD from May 2000 features a different mix. There are no changes to the actual track, so this doesn't really qualify as a real demo for the song. It's the only song on the album without a true demo available for it.

Remix

Linkin Park released a remix of "Pushing Me Away" on Reanimation in July 2002 titled "P5hng Me A*wy". The track was remixed by Mike Shinoda, with guitars by Brad Delson and Mike, and features guest vocals by Stephen Richards of Taproot.

Versions

Note: Only the date of the very first release of each version is listed.

Studio

Title	Album	Length	Recorded	Released	Notes
Pushing Me Away	Hybrid Theory Valentine	3:11	2000	October 24, 2000
The Cure For Mr.Hahn's Itch	Studio Finals 5/7/00	3:15	2000		The CD dates from May 7, 2000. Different mix. Released on LPLive for free download on April 9, 2011.
Pushing Me Away	Hybrid Theory - Instrumentals	3:10	2000		Official instrumental version.

Remix

Title	Album	Length	Recorded	Released	Notes
P5hng Me A*wy	Reanimation	4:38	2001	July 30, 2002	Remix by Mike Shinoda. Features vocals by Stephen Richards.
P5hng Me A*wy	Songs From Reanimation P5hng Me A*wy	4:37	2001	2002	Lacks the transition to "Plc.4 Mie Hæd". Mislabeled as "P5ng Me A*wy" on Songs From Reanimation. This version replaced the album version in the initial iTunes release of Reanimation. This was fixed in subsequent releases.
P5hng Me A*wy	Reanimation - Instrumentals	4:38	2001		Official instrumental version.

Live

Title	Album	Length	Recorded	Released	Notes
P5hng Me A*wy	Live In Texas	5:05	August 02, 2003 August 03, 2003	November 18, 2003	Recorded live August 2nd 2003 at Reliant Stadium in Houston, TX and August 3rd 2003 at Texas Stadium in Irving, TX on the Summer Sanitarium Tour.
Pushing Me Away (Live)	LP Underground 6.0	3:30	August 13, 2006	December 5, 2006	Piano version. Recorded live at the Chiba Marina Stadium in Tokyo, Japan on August 13, 2006 at the Summer Sonic Festival. Chester's lyrical mistake was edited out and replaced with a line from the first chorus from the previous day's show in Osaka.
Pushing Me Away	Road To Revolution: Live At Milton Keynes	3:18	June 29, 2008	November 21, 2008	Piano version. Filmed at the National Bowl, Milton Keynes June 29, 2008.
Pushing Me Away (Live From Soundcheck)	Compilation	2:41	March, 2007		The CD dates from May 19, 2010. Piano version. Live studio performance with no audience. Released on LPCatalog for free download on June 16, 2015.
Pushing Me Away (Live From Dallas, 2007)	Hybrid Theory - Live Around The World	3:41	August 04, 2007	May 31, 2012	Piano version.
Pushing Me Away (Live At Download Festival 2014)	Hybrid Theory - Live At Download Festival 2014	3:28	June 14, 2014	August 12, 2014	The Hunting Party pre-order bonus album through linkinpark.com.
Pushing Me Away	Hybrid Theory (20th Anniversary Edition)	3:53	January 30, 2001	October 9, 2020	DVD only. The Fillmore 2001.
Pushing Me Away	Hybrid Theory (20th Anniversary Edition)	4:39	June 03, 2001	October 9, 2020	DVD only. Includes "Pictureboard". Rock Am Ring 2001.
Pushing Me Away	Hybrid Theory (20th Anniversary Edition)	3:20	February 23, 2002 February 24, 2002	October 9, 2020	DVD only. Projekt: Revolution 2002.
P5hng Me A*wy (Live In Texas)	Meteora (20th Anniversary Edition)	5:04	August 02, 2003 August 03, 2003	April 7, 2023	Edited differently from the 2003 release. Live In Texas.
P5hng Me A*wy	Meteora (20th Anniversary Edition)	5:25	July 12, 2003	April 7, 2023	DVD only. Veterans Stadium 2003.
P5hng Me A*wy	Meteora (20th Anniversary Edition)	5:13	October 29, 2003	April 7, 2023	DVD only. Live In Seoul 2003.

Live

"Pushing Me Away" was performed throughout 2001 on the Hybrid Theory World Tour after its debut on the Street Soldiers Tour, where it was performed in the middle of the set. The song remained in this general position throughout the 2001 tours. On the following tour, the Deftones' Back To School Tour, "Pushing Me Away" was rotated with "Crawling". After that tour, "Pushing Me Away" remained stationery in the middle of the set for the rest of 2001. At the last show of the year, the band's second night at the KROQ Almost Acoustic Christmas, an acoustic version of "Pushing Me Away" was performed. The song maintained its mid-set position in 2002, as well.

The studio version of "Pushing Me Away" was not performed at all in 2003 or 2004, otherwise known as the Meteora World Tour. However, its Reanimation counterpart, "P5hng Me A*wy" was performed in its place. Beginning in 2004, Brad began to play the harmonics from the intro of the song during the second verse of "In The End". When the band performed the Summer Sonic shows in Japan in 2006, a brand new piano version of "Pushing Me Away" was added to the setlist, as the second-to-last song in the encore.

The piano version of "Pushing Me Away" returned on the Minutes To Midnight touring cycle, where it found a mid-set position, typically preceding "Breaking The Habit". This carried out throughout 2007 on all of its tours, except for the last show of 2007, at the KROQ Almost Acoustic Christmas, where a new piano version of "My December" was performed instead. In the beginning of 2008, the piano versions of "Pushing Me Away" and "My December" were often rotated. The position in the sets were closing the first encore in Set R, in the main set before "Breaking The Habit" in the Set S, and opening the first encore in Set T. This carried over to the Minutes To Midnight North American Tour, however the set position in Set R was moved to the opening of the first encore. "Pushing Me Away" was only performed once on the North American tour, in London, Ontario. On the second Minutes To Midnight European Tour of 2008, the studio version of "Pushing Me Away" returned to the setlists. The piano version of the song was performed as the encore opener in Set X, but the studio version opened the encore of Set Y, and again in the main set before "Breaking The Habit" in Set Z. This carried over to Projekt Revolution 2008, except for the piano version of the song being dropped in Set X. Instead of the studio version of the song being performed in Set Y, the piano version was performed as the opener of the first encore instead.

The song was dropped for the A Thousand Suns and Living Things tours. However, it was performed once on The Hunting Party tour, when the band performed Hybrid Theory in its entirety at the Download Festival.

On March 24, 2020, Linkin Park (Mike, Dave, and Joe) reacted to the (previously unreleased) San Diego 2001 show stream on YouTube. When the performance of "Pushing Me Away" happened, Joe remarked, "This is a good song" to which Phoenix voiced his displeasure for it, saying, "I was just thinking other thoughts. They're like kids... you've got favorites and you've got lesser favorites. This child of ours is a lesser favorite of mine." Joe joked, "Dave since you hate that song, now I hate that song."

Variations

Last Updated: September 27, 2015

Type	Description	First Played	Last Played
Intro	Ambient Intro (SHORT Interlude)	March 10, 2001	March 20, 2001
Alternative	Acoustic	December 9, 2001	December 9, 2001
Alternative	Piano Version	August 12, 2006	August 24, 2008

Personnel

Linkin Park

• Chester Bennington: vocals
• Rob Bourdon: drums, backing vocals
• Brad Delson: guitars, bass, backing vocals
• Joseph Hahn: records, sampling, backing vocals
• Mike Shinoda: emcee, vocals, beats, sampling

Production

• Don Gilmore: producer
• Jeff Blue: executive producer
• Andy Wallace: mixer

Lyrics

Album Version

I've lied to you
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you
 
(Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left
To watch it all unwind)
The sacrifice is never knowing
 
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
 
I've tried like you
To do everything you wanted too
This is the last time
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you
 
(Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left
To watch it all unwind)
The sacrifice is never knowing
 
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
(We're all out of time
This is how we find how it all unwinds)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(We're all out of time
This is how we find how it all unwinds)
The sacrifice is never knowing
 
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Pushes me away

In Other Media

• "Pushing Me Away" is featured in the 2001 film Valentine and was included in its soundtrack album.

External Links

• Pushing Me Away: LPTV