Tools Of The Trade

From Linkinpedia
"Tools Of The Trade"
Song by Fort Minor
from the album Fort Minor Militia
Released:March 1, 2006
References:Audio Two - Top Billin’
Writer:Vic Mercer, Ryan Maginn, Takbir Bashir
Producer:Mike Shinoda
Label:Machine Shop Recordings
Fort Minor Militia tracklist
  1. Do What We Did (feat. Styles Of Beyond)
  2. Kenji (Interview Version)
  3. Tools Of The Trade (feat. Styles of Beyond and Celph Titled)
  4. Where'd You Joe? (feat. Holly Brook and Jonah Matranga) (Joe Hahn Remix)
  5. Strange Things
  6. Believe Me (feat. Styles of Beyond) (Club Remix)
  7. Start It All Up
  8. Move On (feat. Mr. Hahn)


"Tools Of The Trade" was a Fort Minor song featuring Styles Of Beyond and Celph Titled released by Mike Shinoda for free download exclusively for Fort Minor Militia members in January 2006. Mike produced and mixed the song. He wrote: "a lot of people keep asking me about this song. here is the story: celph titled came to LA for his first time, to visit and do some vocals. on his last day, he came to the studio a little buzzed, drinking cisco. then ryu and tak proceeded to peer-pressure him into drinking WAY too much, and by the end of the day, he was vomiting and passing out in the studio bathroom. we were all drinking, and you can tell, based on how ridiculous the verses are. celph had written some verses, but didn't finish recording because he was too wasted-- so we had cheapshot try to read his lyrics. this was supposed to be an interlude on "the rising tied," but it turned out way too silly. PS - i made the majority of the beat out of random crap from my kitchen and bathroom."

Mike said, "SOB and i had a lot of fun whenever we were in the studio, too. if you havent heard about the celph titled story, you gotta hear it."[1]

Instead of using "Tools Of The Trade" as an interlude on The Rising Tied as intended, Mike had Celph Titled record a timed rap battle verse for "The Battle".

In a March 28, 2005 interview with Hip Hop Game, Apathy said about Celph Titled, "He actually just left my crib. We've been working on a ton of shit. He's doing an EP soon. He was also just recording for an album, with J-Zone and himself. He recorded for my album, Motive's album, been workin with Styles of Beyond, Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park, and the AOTP album. He's doin tons of shit."

Celph Titled's "MC am I, people call me Celph" line in "Tools Of The Trade" is a reference to "Top Billin’" by Audio Two.

Trades Of The Tools

A parody of "Tools Of The Trade", titled "Trades Of The Tools", was released for free download on DJ Cheapshot's Space Invadas MySpace page on March 23, 2006.

Space Invadas is a joke group founded by Cheapshot and his friend DJ Jester in college. Unlike in most of his Styles Of Beyond material, which is mostly production, Cheapshot provides vocals for some of their tracks, including "Trades Of The Tools".

About the song, Cheapshot wrote: "Mike Shinoda made a song called "Tools of the Trade" for the Fort Minor album (it ended up not making the final cut). He made the beat out of household products and people thought it was pretty awesome. Vin Skully and I were at the studio one day and couldn't come up with anything, so we decided to waste time by parodying the Shinoda track. Here it is in all of it's glory! Enjoy!"[2]


Note: Only the date of the very first release of each version is listed.

Title Album Length Recorded Released Notes
Tools Of The Trade (feat. Celph Titled) 3:24 2005 March 1, 2006
  • Features vocals by Styles Of Beyond and Celph Titled.
  • Released for free download to Fort Minor Militia members in March 2006.



Tools Of The Trade

Alright you guys, listen.
Right here I got some paper, a toothbrush, this is a lighter, a bottle of beer, this is a bottle opener, and a pot from a kitchen
Alright you ready?
Let's go

Alright, maybe that doesn't sound quite right yet
So I'm gonna add some kick and snare just like this
Ha ha ha, yeah
And I got this guitar part
I'm gonna play the guitar part over it like this
Feelin' that?
And then we just loop that.
Why don't, why don't we bring in a little bit of bass just like this
I wanna hit the snare drum
Bop bop
Just take the, take the bass out right here just like this
This is where we just bring in the verse

I can make a loop out of anything work
I’m just surprised you guys didn’t think of this shit first
But fuck it! You can’t touch yours truly
You can hardly follow me much less move me, so
When I’m pumping the track, you punks in the back
Better jump when I ask you bastards

Yeah, you got it backwards and misconstrued
See I roll like the rat pack groups included
In the backpack with the gas mask in Munich
20 deep in a hatchback puffing Cubans

You wanna rap get the lab track qued let’s do this
But not on this track, you can’t afford it stupid!

Somebody call for the doc quick, he’s still on the street top
He's gotta stain on my freaking high top Reebok’s
Snatched off the velcro and choked him with it
My headphones rub my neck where I coach you chickens (bacockkkkkk!)
Machine Shop packs lots of tunes
Like Paul Wall mixed tapes leave you chopped and screwed
The mess too wild? The yes boys popping their Gats (yaps?)
Yeah, can you hear me now? Good get off my sac

Yo, MC am I, people call me Celph
I got the key to every young bitches chastity belt
You clicking even pussy, better yet they beaver
I’m gonna leave it to ya heavy with this nine millimeter

Yo, I see you chillin’ in that cherry beemer
Have you ever met a man with canary fever?
I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout a piss colored diamond either, word
I’m eatin’ birds outta sittin’ on your finger
You can teach 'em how to speak, say “Polly, want a cracker?”
Take 'em to the beach, play volleyball after
A little snack, champagne and pasta
We don’t gotta run fast girl, I know you got asthma

Yeah, sippin’ on jack and diamonds
Blowin' smoke rings, chillin’ with a pack of Heina’s
Your hands to the sky, get a crunk for fun
I’m so goddamn high, I could punch the sun

Oy, honestly it doesn’t even matter if I use this voice
It’d still fuck up you and your boys
So piss off mate, see I do what I want
'Cause your whole bloody lots, just a bunch of cunts

See right now Celph Titled's supposed to be in the booth
But he’s stuck inside a toilet getting ready to puke
And he drank a bunch of sisco, vodka, and rum
So Cheapshot’s gonna drop Celph’s verse, here it comes

Find me in the sandwich, gonna roll with the stutter
Rolling with a cutter, abuse your mother
On a road trip to Barbados with their hoes
I’m a hoodrat with a Winnebago, I make dough
On the block where the bullies where raised to partier
You in Idaho grazing pastures getting busy
I don’t hold acts unless for something get busy
On the ground I like the bear and I stay in my grizzly

Stay the fuck in the bathroom homie!

Trades Of The Tools

Alright you guys, listen
I had a burrito for lunch today
And I got some farts in my butt
I downed that burrito with a 7-Up afterwards
So I got some burps in my mouth
For some reason, I got a little spring in my pocket
And this right here, is a dildo hitting me on the head
Alright you ready?
Let's go
Maybe that doesn't sound right, yet.
So, I'm gonna reach in my back pocket and scratch the shit out of my ass.
Oh, yeah.
And I got this accordion part.
I'm gonna put this accordion over it like this.
You feel that?
I'm gonna loop that
You know what?
Why don't, why don't I just bring in the slide whistle
Now I gotta make my farts go "Pop pop!"

I can make a loop out of anything work
I'm just surprised you guys didn't think of this shit first
But fuck you
I grab a bucket so suck it
You can do your little rhyme, but you know that I dumped it
It's that simple
Take a look at my dimple
You cruise at me, I'll pop him like a pimple

Whatchu gonna do?
Whatchu gonna do?
Whatchu gonna do?
I said, whatchu gonna do?

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