Fighting Myself

From Linkinpedia

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"Fighting Myself" is a song from the Meteora recording sessions was officially released as the second pre-release song from the 20th Anniversary Edition of Meteora.

Background

"Fighting Myself" is a song from the Meteora sessions that Linkin Park worked on, but never fully finished. It made it semi-late in the process, but was not seen on the list of 15 songs on the NRG Studios song board when the band was making the album meaning it was not in the final batch of tracks for the album. Mike Shinoda said for the Meteora 20 promotion that he remembered specifically having this song as an option for the 20th anniversary release, but his version did not have any Chester vocals on it and was just the rap verses.

The song was seen in the first LPTV Episode of Season 1 titled "The Writing Process", in early 2003, when the band is recording demos at Mike's home studio. There is a clip of Mike recording the guitar riff of the song with Chester sitting next to him.[1]

When looking for material for Meteora 20, Mike Shinoda said that he was looking for a copy of "Fighting Myself" but stumbled upon "Lost" which he forgot existed. Mike said that he thought only a version without Chester existed. "I thought all we had was a demo and me rapping verse one and verse two and that was it, but Ryan from management found a version where Chester was singing and then we found the session of that song and I went into the multitracks and found different chorus ideas. It went from a rough sketch to a finished chorus, so now we have a full song with vocals. I remember writing it and working on it but it didn't make the cut so we just stopped working on it, so now I found the sessions for it." When the song debuted, he said that he layered the Chester vocals on the bridge and ending of the song as well when he was rebuilding it.[2]

He added, "I got to take them into the computer and pick through what was there and we had the makings of a chorus that was like 90% done." So he went back in and picked through the multitracks to put a chorus together. He said that the chorus was "90% finished" and he would still change some things to finish the song if it were for the album, but that fans will think it sounds completely finished.[3]

Mike said that he thought about rewriting his verses for it and took the idea to Linkin Park to touch up the songs on the box set, but the band ultimately decided it was pure and true to the intentions of Meteora 20 to not mess with any songs, so they kept everything in the original form. He also called the song "a definitive Linkin Park track", adding, "I really wanted to keep it true to the initial intention, because I didn't want to taint this time warp. What I love about the three new songs is that all of them represent a different facet of the band, as it was in 2003."[4]

The voice sample in the intro and verses is Mike Shinoda's voice reversed and effected combined with a vinyl static sound.

In the Linkin Park Stagelight pack from 2012, a drum beat file titled "Shortcut" (BPM_140_SHORTCUT_DRUM1) is included which is the drum beat from the verses of "Fighting Myself."

Release

"Fighting Myself" was debuted for the first time on Howard Stern with Mike Shinoda as a guest on February 14, 2023, with "More The Victim."

Versions

Note: Only the date of the very first release of each version is listed.

Title Album Length Recorded Released Notes
Fighting Myself Meteora (20th Anniversary Edition) 3:21 2002 2023

Personnel

  • Chester Bennington: vocals
  • Rob Bourdon: drums
  • Brad Delson: guitar
  • Joseph Hahn: records, sampling
  • Phoenix: bass
  • Mike Shinoda: emcee, vocals, sampling, production

Lyrics

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Now
Sometimes these thoughts in my head speak so loud
Every little thing that I think about
Just built on top of the pain and doubt
Even though I want to just just letting it out
I try to act like I don't mind it
Try to keep my mouth so quiet
But sitting there in my silence
Just seems to amplify it
When I thought that keeping this inside would make it better
I never thought that I would end up holding it forever
But every time I think I got everything put back together
I end up making more regrets, making more regrets

Falling from grace
I watch it all come apart
Knowing I could have changed it all from the start
Fighting myself, I always lose
Fighting myself, I always lose

I didn't want you to think I'm worn out
Wish I could
[?] overflow, spill out unwillingly
But now everything that I learned to hate
Came out for you to see
I don't want you to promise you can change everything and make it better
Cause you can bet I'm gonna end up ruining it forever
But everytime I think I got everything put back together
I end up making more regrets, making more regrets

Falling from grace
I watch it all come apart
Knowing I could have changed it all from the start
Fighting myself, I always lose
Fighting myself, I always lose
Falling from grace
I watch it all come apart
Knowing I could have changed it all from the start
Fighting myself, I always lose
Fighting myself, I always lose

I can’t run with this weight on my back
I can’t see ‘cause I’m focused on the past
I can’t break, I need to break free from the anger that is constantly inside of me
I can’t run with this weight on my back
I can’t see ‘cause I’m focused on the past
I can’t break, I need to break free from the anger that is constantly inside of me

Falling from grace
I watch it all come apart
Knowing I could have changed it all from the start
I can’t break, I need to break free from the anger that is constantly inside of me
Falling from grace
I watch it all come apart
Knowing I could have changed it all from the start
I can't break, I need to break free from the anger that is constantly inside of me

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External Links

References